I love my GPS.

On my first day driving to work in Malaysia, I got lost for 5 hours.

After about 4½, I turned off the engine, had [another] big cry, screamed at the dashboard for a short time and rang Collette.

An hour or so later, the Ministry of Education search party had found me and escorted me back, safe, but more than a little unsound.

At which point, the Project Manager threatened to sack me and told my boss that I “was gone within a month.”

[Hang fire on that one folks!]

And so, after experimenting with Collette’s GPS [WTF does KEEP LEFT mean when you’re actually veering right?] I became the proud owner of a Papago Global Positioning System.

This is a misnomer, I have found.

Yes, theoretically, you can use the device to tell you where you are. In a physical sense at least. Or perhaps someone has invented a kind of I Ching GPS?

Ta Ch’u. Ku. Danger is at hand. It furthers one to desist. The axletrees are taken from the wagon. [God, I bloody hope not. The leasing company are totally fed up with me as it is.]

What it does do is tell you exactly where to go with - impressive methods of instruction! - little pictures, measurements, and encouragement!

Let me kiss its feet!

Collette the Navigator

More importantly, it tells you where NOT to go, and thus Simone has the capacity to avoid those killer KL flyovers and toll roads. Even without Collette in the passenger seat next to her, yelling “Not yet! Not yet!”

A good horse that follows others. Awareness of danger, with perseverance, furthers. Practice chariot driving and armed defence daily. It furthers one to have somewhere to go.

Well, I DO always have somewhere to go. [Unbelievable: Ikea is not a Point of Interest in my GPS.]

And I should probably practice my chariot driving skills [slammed into another car directly after buying the GPS whilst trying to program the bloody thing.]

And, while taking out the Project Manager with my newly acquired armed defence skills would no doubt result in my immediate deportation, it would, at least, be extremely satisfying. Hmmm. Food for thought and navigation.

Congratulations Egypt. I am SO happy for you.

Simone the Safe-ish? Driver.


I Ching Readings from: http://www.ichingreading.net