Hint: When attending interviews in 40 degree heat, it is advisable to wear a suit as lighter forms of clothing will adhere to the sweat running in torrents down your body.Successful management involves leading by example. Not talking the talk (aka bullshitting), but walking the walk.
On this sound basis, I present what not to do when applying for jobs. Let Simone be a shining (non) example to you all:
Hint: Know which organisation the interviewer is representing.
Benefit 1: You avoid asking a provider of children's English programs about their provision of academic English programs for adults.
Benefit 2: You avoid congratulating a large bureaucratic university on its flexibility and creativity causing your interviewing panel to laugh uproariously.
Benefit 3: It helps convey an air of efficiency, of especial importance when you are selling yourself as an accomplished administrator.
Hint: Do your research.
Benefit 1: Online comments to the effect that said organisation failed to pay their staff causing staff to stage a sit-in in Saudi Arabia act as a warning signal, particularly if you have only narrowly escaped been deported from the neighbouring state of Qatar, and wish to avoid further interactions with Gulf Arab police.
Benefit 2: Advertisements plastered around the Internet on every available ESL job site enticing all and sundry to apply for managerial positions [No Experience Required! No Qualifications Needed! Immediate Start!] within Saudi may be an indication that the recruiter is not one with which you would want to begin a professional relationship.
Benefit 3: Online comments that there are currently no managers at the female campus at which you have applied for work and that the place is rapidly falling apart give one pause, and provide momentary relief at the luck one has had at avoiding such a fate.
Benefit 4: It is important to ensure that the school of which you are about to become a director exists in terms of classrooms, teachers and ACTUAL STUDENTS, rather than bored kangaroos with an attitude lolling around where said school should be.
Hint: Attend carefully to fragile academic sensitivities.
Benefit 1: Raising recent major shifts in governmental policy which the interviewing panel may not yet have heard of despite the fact that it will totally change the way they work smacks of competence. God forbid.
Benefit 2: Referring to nursing faculty as women rather than people despite the fact that one's previous experience with nursing faculty has been exclusively with women clearly identifies one as a sexist, racist, fascist pig who probably voted Liberal in the last election and who will undermine every effort in the flexible, culturally-sensitive, diverse and stimulating environments that make up Australian academia.
Benefit 3: Statements to the effect that establishing a shared vision through a consultative approach to management is the wrong answer. If one has any fascist tendencies, airing them at this juncture will earn you a tick in the appropriate academic interview box.
This is my 7th Christmas tree in about 5 years. Goal for 2010: Change Christmas Tree karma.
Surprisingly, and despite my excellent interviewing skills, I do not go into Christmas with a job lined up, but have decided that this should not let this dampen my Christmas spirit. Should you wish to increase your own levels of merriment, assemble the following items:
Mulled Wine
Cheap dry red wine – 4 litres
Brown sugar – 1 ¼ cups
Cinnamon sticks – 8
Cloves – 16
Nutmeg, ground – 2tsp
0ranges - 3 – slice and peel, make slashes into the rind – add all the orange including peel
Ginger fresh – a few slices (optional)
Rum or brandy – a splash (optional)
Combine. Heat slowly – boiling will burn off the alchohol. Serve.
And for the plate of nibblies to take to your latest round of Chrissy Drinks:
Sweet Chilli Eggs
Hard boil 12 eggs (10 minutes).
Take off shells by tapping each end & rolling the eggs gently under running water.
Halve and place on plate, yolk side up.
Place a dollop of Sweet Chilli Sauce straight from the bottle on each egg half.
Sprinkle with finely chopped fresh coriander (cilantro in American) - this last is optional but very Christmassy.
May your holidays be happy and your wine, mulled!
Much love,
Simone - Sigh! - the Still Unemployed.
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